Polaris Nuclear Submarine
Forget the whoopie cushions and x-ray glasses. This was the kind of thing you spotted in a comic book, then fantasized about undersea adventures for days on end. A submarine for $6.98? What a steal!
The Polaris Nuclear Submarine found its way to the back page of millions of comic books throughout the 60s and 70s, a shining example of misleading marketing. The ad boasted that the sub was over 7 feet long, big enough for you and a friend. You could watch the enemy through the periscope AND fire rockets and torpedoes! Wow!
As a kid, I stared at this ad and imagined submerging my very own sub in the backyard pool and exploring endlessly, firing my arsenal of weaponry at anything that dared get in the way. I mean, look at that panel on the lower right. That’s high tech stuff right there! Look at the main graphic – the thing looks sturdy enough to pierce an iceberg. And if it didn’t, a missile would surely do the trick!
Alas, I would never get the opportunity to try one of these babies in real life. Oh, I begged and pleaded many times, but the parents never saw fit to arm their only son with a submarine, let alone a nuclear one. I eventually got over it, but I always wondered about that seven-dollar sub, even into adulthood.
Of course, my parents knew something I didn’t, something to which P.T. Barnum eluded many years prior – “Don’t believe everything you see in a comic book ad, you moron!”
P.T. said it a little different, of course.
One day, I finally decided to solve this mystery once and for all. My mission was clear – What exactly did one get when sending your hard-earned money to the Honor House Product Company in Lynbrook, New York? I had to know.
If you wondered this very same thing, here is your long-awaited answer.
Basically, you got something fancier than a refrigerator box, but not remotely seaworthy. Take a look.
At the time, I think I would have been too distraught to play with that, nor would I have had the patience to assemble it.
And put it in the pool?
All the rockets and torpedoes in the world couldn’t have saved it from sinking like a brick in about 3 seconds, taking its captain and faithful crew member straight to the bottom of the deep end.
I’m glad I waited to learn the truth in adulthood, rather than the hard way, by sending them my saved-up allowance. And I should thank my mom and dad for not giving in to my begging and whining and saving me the disappointment. Thank you, yet again, for your wisdom, mom and dad.
Sigh, I really wanted a submarine.
Did you ever spot one of these subs in a comic book and think it was cool? I’d love to hear any memories you have of this memorable ad, (and less than memorable toy) in the comments section below.
In my naive youth I too succumbed to the promises made by this glorious advertisement. As an adult I’m consoled by the fact that I was in good company among the souls that were to be crushed had I handed over my hard-earned summer wages on this too-good-to-be-true product. We had a lake behind our home at the time and I was convinced I’d discovered the holy grail of water recreation. To this day my family teases me about the concrete submarine that never was. Thanks for posting.
I loved looking through those comic book ads, they were pretty cool. I don’t think I ever ordered anything though. I wish I would have, because some of the things go for a bit of money on eBay. I haven’t seen a sub on eBay, but if one came up, I bet it would go for about $1,000.
For over 50 years I’ve wondered what I adventure I’d missed by not being allowed to order this submarine. Thank you so much for finally showing me what this misadventure would’ve looked like. Now I can get on with my life 🙂
So many days staring at that ad for the sub and the other ad for the plastic armies. Not buying that sub has always been one of my biggest regrets. I ha e to admit I did t have high expectations., but I always wonder what I would have gotten thanks for clearing that up
I thought it was cool, but figured it was crap since I had already been ripped off on the sea monkeys and the Frankenstein plastic sheet. Still, it was interesting. I think there was a tank too.
I sent about 50 cents, which was actually a lot of money for my 10 year old self, to get a “6 foot tall Frankenstein with glowing eyes.” Itturned out to be a plastic poster that came with two green dot stickers for eyes. Very disappointing.
Thanks for posting this. It was good to see the real product versus the comic ad. What shameless false advertising!
Oh, man, did I want this to rule the coolie just a short way from home! Perhaps the Terror of Buffalo Pound lake and finder of treasures therein? Torpedoes and a rocket, too, after all, by the picture. Every comic book had it, so it’s legit, yeah?!
I wonder how many poor kiddos drowned living out their dreams inside these subs?
I always wanted one of those so badly! From the picture you posted, I don’t think I would have been disappointed. I think it looks pretty fun!
Still waiting for mine to show up! It has become a bit of family lore that I ordered that Sub with much of the same anticipation that Ralphie had with his Red Rider B-B Gun! Alas, it was not to be and some 55 years later one of my brothers sends me your link and the memory endures…I also still collect comics and see the ad periodically with it always giving me that slight jab of a lifelong disappointment.
Lol, it actually looks better than I thought it would. Especially after getting taken by the 6′ Frankenstein. I too fell for that one.
Thanks for showing what I missed!
Can you what company makes this or if they still do. I am 57 years old and I had the Polaris sub as an 7 year old and I loved it
My cousin, Kay, was a physician and I remember showing her this ad for a submarine…and telling her all the adventures I had planned. To this very day, I’m grateful she didn’t smash the dreams of an 8-year old. She said how exciting it sounded and encouraged me to talk about it. I never did get the 7-dollars together, but I’m grateful to the ad for all the dreams…and my cousin for encouraging them!
Ha ha. I was just reading an old Richie Rich comic and Googled this. Crazy, and it had money back guarantee? Probably too impossible to return. And it said it fit 2 kids? Really? Anyway, 70″s kid here appreciates you post! Awesome
Thank you for sharing this! I had plans to use it in my uncle Bob’s indoor pool in New Jersey, but my possessing $6.98 was en even bigger fantasy! Thanks for satisfying my curiosity.
Yes! I begged for one for Christmas one year. My through investigation had determined that it must be the real deal. We had a lake in our park down the street and I could not wait to launch it on Christmas Day. I could hardly sleep Christmas Eve in anticipation. When I got up the next morning, I was a bit shocked to find this flat package of grey cardboard. I was certainly disappointed after concluding that it certainly was not seaworthy or even damp worthy. However, I put it together and made the best of my imagination and enjoyed it as best I could. I recall the launching of torpedos with a rubber band from a tube in front.
I just picked up one of these in the box. Seems complete but no assembly instructions. Anyone out there have a copy?